Existing With Trauma
11 months ago
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Call me crazy!!
Ok, I don't believe I am about to say this....but I am considering having some fill taken out. And before you ask, yes I have only had 1 fill. But ever since I got my fill last Monday I have had a real hard time eating. I did the whole day of clear liquids, whole day of full liquids, and then tried mushies. I have not really been able to move past that, I have added in some other more solid food but I still am having trouble. I have started cutting my food up into the tiniest bites (barely will stay on a fork) and still it feels like two or three bites in I have a tightness in my chest. Sometimes I have to get up and walk around and sometimes I have to just stop eating after only 3 or 4 bites. Sometimes I feel that tightness just from drinking - which seems crazy! I just don't think I should have this much restriction yet, and from what I have read this is what people feel like when they have too much fill. I am pretty sure I have lost weight this week, but I have been so uncomfortable and I am getting to the point that I don't even want to eat. I try to stick to just what I can drink. Here's another weird part. I cant really eat chunky soups. Because the liquid and the solid just don't go down together - even with lots of chewing. I don't want to be limited in what I can eat so much that I only eat the bad stuff - because it goes down easy (like shakes & ice cream!). I think I am going to give it the rest of the week to see if gets better, if not, I am going to see if I can get in to the doctor early next week. Just seems like such a shame to me that I have to have fill taken out after the first one and some people have to have 5 or 6 fills before they really feel anything. I guess that is what I was counting on and I wasn't really ready for this "cant eat anything stage"...especially after the post op diet. Plus, I am a little nervous that if I have some taken out it will be a long time before I have restriction again. (Which is pretty crazy thinking I guess since I feel so much restriction after 1 fill). I was so looking forward to having chicken again. I ate it for my meal test before my fill and really haven't been able to have it since then. I have tried a couple times but even though I chew like crazy it is just uncomfortable. I haven't tried putting lots of sauces on it to get it to go down easier because there are so many things that seem like they just don't go down easy. Ugh. Feeling a bit discouraged :(
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That does not sound fun! Well...maybe you do need just a little little bit taken out. Don't look at it as a bad thing though...you could be one of the lucky ones that get restricion early on! Just listen to your body. Is it your time of the month? Sometimes people say they are tighter then.
ReplyDeleteYou are not crazy - if you can't eat it's too tight. Just count yourself as one of the chosen few that doesn't need a lot of fill to get restriction. This process is confusing and frustrating, but we'll get there.
ReplyDeleteYoiks! So strange this has happened so early - but like you said: def sounds like you need a little un-fill. I can't imagine going through what you are already, thats rough. I hope things improve soon for you :)
ReplyDeleteHey Girl, I'm so sorry to read how difficult it's been for you. I've heard that when someone is close to the right point of restriction - it can be just the slightest amount in or out can make all the difference. So don't be discouraged - you're just going to find that perfect spot much sooner versus later. I know it has been difficult and I sure hope it's better after your unfill - I'll be checking your blog to see.
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